“A woman’s worst enemy…”

When I was about thirteen, I heard my dad say, “A woman’s worst enemy is another woman.” At that age I didn’t really understand what he meant, but his words stuck with me.

Over the years, I have seen so much evidence of those words being true. Women are raised to compete with each other, compare to each other. We dislike any woman we perceive to be better than us. Not only that, we feel the need to verbally cut her down behind her back or even directly to her face. For what purpose?

I watched a TED Talk this morning titled “Why you need to be a bitch” by Tabitha Coffey. Without saying the same words as my dad, she spoke the exact same message about women’s relationships. And, of course, she had a suggestion for re-framing our thinking about relationships between women. Instead of calling each other down, what would happen if we promoted respect and pride in each other’s achievements?

She created a positive acronym for the word B.I.T.C.H.:

• Brave
• Intelligent
• Tenacious
• Creative
• Honest

She encourages us to be these things, be a B.I.T.C.H., grow from our experiences, treat other women with  gratitude, and celebrate their achievements. There is no room for jealousy and cattiness, during a time when we need strength and friendships.

I recommend spending 12 short minutes watching this talk, think about how it applies to you and what it is you can change to make your relationships with women better today.